The 5 People in Every Exam Room


Rachel Slay, Staff Writer


Taking exams is a bittersweet experience for high school students. They mark the finish line of each semester, where students dutifully prove what has been learned in their courses. However, they can just as easily lead to the demise of a GPA. No matter where you attend school, you can count having on these five people sitting in your vicinity.


  • The Cold

No matter how far away from flu season you are, there is always that one person in the exam room who is more congested than I-4 during rush hour. Your peaceful testing environment will surely be interrupted every 10 to 15 seconds by a sneeze, aggressive sniffle or cacophony of cough-like sounds.


  • Squirrel Bladder

We can blame the perpetually empty 20 oz bottle sitting on the corner of their desk for their need to relieve themselves. They may just be well hydrated but there has to be a limit on how many times one single person must use the restroom in a two to three-hour span of time.


  • The Tapper

If it’s not their toe, it’s their pencil… Sitting still is not an activity The Tapper can keep up for very long. You could kindly ask them to stop… or you could continue throwing annoyed glares in their direction, hoping they’ll hear your telepathic message to “STOP THAT.”


  • Student Santa Claus

The big round man in the North Pole is silent for 11 months, waiting until the final weeks of the year to make his grand appearance. In the same way, Student Santa Claus uses most of his testing time to catch up on sleep. Just when you think there is no chance they’ll ever finish the exam, they rise. Seven short minutes later, their answer sheet is beautifully Christmas Tree-d and they return to their nap.


  • The Over-Achiever

Subtlety is not The Over-Achiever’s forte. They will ask four questions prior to the beginning of the test to make sure everyone, including the teacher, knows they mean business. Every time they finish a page of questions, they will obnoxiously flip the page, making sure that the sound of the paper flopping through the air is audible three rooms away. Finally, once they’ve completed their test, they will let out a triumphant declaration that they have finished before everyone else. Don’t miss your chance to get their autograph later.


Next time you take an exam, look out for these people. If you can’t find them all, you’re probably one of them.